Monday, September 10, 2012

new beginnings.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a pediatric medical social worker. I went through college and grad school with the goal of eventually working at Boston Children's Hospital. When I finished my master's program, I moved out to Denver for a few years, and then stumbled into Nashville. I've been here for a little over three years, and it becomes more and more like home with each passing day. I've been working at a hospital down here, and I can honestly say that I love my job. I love counseling patients and their families, I love sharing compassion and empathy, and I love helping people in their time of need. It's what I was put on this earth to do.

This is why it's so hard to admit - even to myself - that I've turned in my letter of resignation. Over the past year, I've realized that, in pouring myself into others' lives, I have very little energy (emotional and physical) left for my own. I've invested in good self-care and made sure that every professional boundary was put into place in order to protect myself... But no one can work in this field and have it not affect them in some way -- unless they aren't human. I hope to get back to the clinical side of things some day, but for now, I need to focus on my own quality of life. I need to have a job that allows me to fully engage in the things that bring me joy. Heaven knows that there is enough brokenness in this world, and my spirit is very sensitive to that as it is.

And so, I am moving on. I will be working with a new company, still here in Nashville, and I am very excited about this opportunity. My hope is that, when I'm not at work, I will now have energy to live my life. Claire has played a big part in keeping me going this year, and as I begin to feel better, my hope is that she'll be the one trying to keep up with me from now on! So here's to the next chapter and new beginnings!
 

15 comments:

  1. Good luck in your new job and kudos to you for realizing that you need to take care of yourself first! My husband has worked in Title I schools for years and I know how much providing services for at-risk youth can drain a person. He too is taking a break by working in an "easier" school this year so that his batteries are recharged. Sometimes, that's what you need to do to keep going!

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  2. I'm so proud of you, friend! Excited to see what this next chapter will hold for you.

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  3. Ohh I resonate in so many ways! Im so proud of you and can imagine it was a hard decision to make! I love you little one. I'm excited to hear about what's next.

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  4. Good luck in your new job, a very brave choice to make the change! So glad Claire's been there for you, gotta love that about dogs. Wishing you aLL the best!

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  5. Bless Claire for being there for you, but that's the way with dogs isn't it? They unconditionally give so much. Good luck with the new job, wishing you all the best. It was very brave of you to make the change, hope all goes well I'm sure it will!

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  6. You cannot imagine just how happy I am for you. You deserve all the health and happiness this world can give you and I believe this is an awesome step towards that in so many many ways. I am so very proud of you and ALL that you have accomplished so far in life. God Bless You always and be HAPPY!! woo hoo

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  7. You inspire me. I'm at the same place, except I don't like living in NYC, and I'm committed to my job until September of 2013 and Jesse is committed till April of 2014. So I don't really know how to handle the 'mean' time, and it feels like eternity. But I COMPLETELY understand what you mean about this kind of work. I'm glad you are being brave and not fearing the opinions of man.

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  8. NEW JOB - so glad this is happening for you, sweet friend!

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  9. So proud of you for boldly taking this move! Can't wait to hear what new adventures God has in store for you!

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  10. Congrats! This takes courage! Very envious as sometimes I find myself thinking your exact words "in pouring myself into others' lives, I have very little energy (emotional and physical) left for my own" Though our jobs are quite different, it certainly applies. High Fives! And keep on keepin' on (as they say....) :)

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  11. I am so proud of you and the courage it must have taken to make this decision. Many blessings to you and Claire as you embark on this path of life. I hope I will be able to follow your example very soon!

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  12. Lauren, I am sure that this was not an easy decision to come to, but I also know how hard your job was. It's true, it is impossible to live and work with those families day after day and not be affected by them - positively and negatively. Much as I loved the babies, being in the NICU was so emotionally draining when I was there.

    I hope you will be happy and successful in your new job. I know that the Vandy NICU will miss you significantly but I'm glad you are taking care of yourself first! And I am glad you have had Claire to see you through! :)

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  13. Whoa - good for you! We need to get together again for some serious catching up!

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  14. Congratulations. I am happy for you that you will be able to "live your life" and begin to feel better. You write very well. Perhaps writing a book might be in your future? I commented to you before on twitter about your dog. We have one that could be her twin. Thank goodness for dogs because they keep us grounded and love us unconditionally. Again, be safe, healthy and happy! ")

    Betty

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  15. Thank you to all of you who commented, emailed, tweeted, and FB'd with encouragement for me! Your kind words mean so much, especially because this is such a huge leap, and I feel like I'm on a wing and a prayer right now that it was the right decision for this next step in life!! Y'all are amazing!!

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