How to prepare for a new puppy:That last one got me, particularly about finding dog hair in your coffee. Claire sheds a lot for a short-haired dog so, though I don't drink coffee, I find her fur everywhere. There have been times when I have unloaded the dishwasher and found it on the side of a clean cup. Remember this if you come visit me and are the victim of a rogue piece of fur... This is your warning.
■ Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places, and walk around barefoot in the dark.
■ Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.
■ Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because that’s where the dog will drag it anyway - especially when you have company.
■ Cover all your best suits with dog hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair. Also, float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.
During my sister's first visit to Nashville, she had an opportunity to meet the guy that I was dating at the time. I was sick with a horrible cold, and he was kind enough to make me homemade chicken noodle soup. The three of us sat down at the dinner table to have some, and my sister happened to notice that he paused while eating to pick a stray fur out of his soup. This guy was so polite that he was hoping that neither of us noticed because he didn't want me to feel bad; there's only so much control that a person can have over where a shedding dog's fur lands. My sister, however, missed that cue of his and said, "EWW LAUREN!!!! THERE WAS SOME OF CLAIRE'S FUR IN HIS SOUP!! THAT IS SO GROSS!!" [She's not one for subtlety, but I love her anyway]. I was so embarrassed, not only because of the fur in the soup, but also because I was called out on it. Oh, and I believe she also made some kind of joke about cleanliness, which was completely unfounded since I'm a pretty Type A person and can't function without things being neat and tidy. But this guy and I were just getting to know each other, so I don't think he caught on to the joke...
Did I mention that we're no longer dating? I can assure you that it was not because of this incident. At least, I don't think that was why...