Wednesday, October 19, 2011

the marathon.

I am not a runner. Honestly, I think it's terribly hard on your body and does more harm than good. Also, in third grade, Steve Bowen told me that I run like a duck, and that made for one self-conscious individual when it comes to running. So basically, I really don't see the purpose unless you are in imminent danger. But yesterday, I was in a rush to get to work, and didn't give myself enough time to do my usual mile walk with Claire beforehand. She still needed to go out and get some exercise, so I figured that a nice jog might be beneficial for the both of us.

I started off at a brisk walk and slowly started jogging. What. The. Heck. I had completed, like, a jog and a half, and she decided that we were playing a game of chase. To tell you that she is a fast runner is a complete understatement - and for those of you who frequent the dog park, you will have a better time picturing what followed.

She just TOOK OFF. It wasn't an option for me to let go of the leash because it's a pretty busy road and I didn't want to risk having her run into the street. I just held on for dear life and kept my little legs moving as fast as they would go. I was yelling for Claire to stop, I was fighting the momentum, and I was saying some prayers that she would slooooow doooown.

And then she saw a squirrel.
(I swear, they are becoming the bane of my existence).

She veered off the sidewalk and headed straight for it. At this point, I imagine that it was like a scene from Beethoven for any onlookers: she was chasing the squirrel through my neighbors yards, jumping over bushes, running through laundry that was hung out to dry... It was pure insanity. I, of course, don't have the athletic ability that is needed for obstacles like that, so I got pretty cut up. But I just kept hanging on to that leash!!

In the end, the squirrel made the smart choice to run up a tree trunk, so Claire finally stopped running and tried to jump as high as she could to get to it. My body hurt like hell after that. I mean, lactic acid was built up in every single muscle. I thought my lungs were going to burst. I mean, Claire wasn't even panting, but I sure was. It felt like it took forever for me to recover.

So. The next time I get the urge to go for a brief jog, I'm going refer back to this post to remind myself how I felt like I was going to die from Claire-induced overexertion. And you all are going to help me think through such brilliant ideas before I try to put them into action! Deal?


  1. hysterical!!!!!! and what about that ankle??????