midnight delight.

I'm usually really great at sleeping. Seriously. I am quite skilled. I can fall asleep anywhere, any time, any place. I can stay asleep through anything (including tornado sirens, which doesn't bode well for me). But last night, I woke up in the middle of the night because something was pressing into the side of my head. I reached up to feel what it was, and it was all tangled in my hair. [Flashback to the summer of '93 when I woke up with Silly Putty all knotted in my hair. Traumatizing. Remember that, Mom?!]

I turned on the light to try and free my head from this thing,
and I realized...
it was...
a...
smoked pork skin roll.

Half eaten.
Sticky.
Smelly.
In my hair.
Given a preference, I think I would have chosen the Silly Putty again...

Claire found a new hiding place for her treats, apparently: between the pillows on my bed. I must have rolled over on it in the middle of the night, causing the massive hair tangle. Lovely.

I looked over at Claire who had her ears perked up and was clearly lusting after her prized possession.
"Claire? Did you put this treat in my bed?"
[Like it could've been someone else?!]
Wag. Wag. Wag.
"This. Is. Disgusting. Just for the record."

I freed it from the knot that it created and was about to put it down on my nightstand when Claire launched herself at me, took it from my hand, and buried it under her blanket at the end of my bed. Then she laid down on top of it. She looked at me and started wagging her tail again.

I'll now be conducting a nightly inspection of my bed to ensure that I am safe from "finding" random treats throughout the night. Because, let's be honest, who really has time to condition their hair four times in a row before work? Not me.